" . i•m already in the darK"
--The Sa of Fa, canto<>08

Intro

Hello , and welcome back . You•re reading Future News brought to you by DihTech , i•m your hostess Sister Skadi , please make sure your seatbelts are fastened and all luggage safely stored in the overhead compartment . Let•s begin .

Talent

This week in Talent we•re opening up with Viva La Dirt League . VLDL is a comedy troupe that specializes in video game content . According to Wikipedia™ , "Core cast members include Ben van Lier (actor and head writer), Britt Scott Clark, Ellie Harwood, Hamish Parkinson, Rhiannon McCall, Byron Coll, Phoenix Cross and Brynley Stent, as well as Robert Hartley for their D&D related content." . Whether they•re trolloping around the great Azerim skipping quest dialogue , figuring out guns the hard way in Tarkov , talkin like newfies dere bouy in The Sims , or rocking out the CEO Boardroom old school , this crew have hearts of gold and pockets full of crypto . D-do y-you need any crypto ? cos , i know a guy who knows a guy . Check them out at the link below .
https://m.youtube.com/@VivaLaDirtLeague

Up next we•ve got party animal squad GirlsPlay . These badass babes are witty, intelligent, spontaneous, and never backdown from a good challenge . For the God-Emperrah! . Join Niki, Willow, Liv, Bells, Maddie, Alysha, Sydney, and Mar as they take on the toughest challenges to review the best content on the Internet with the flattest affect they can manage . Sometimes , you•ve just gotta dance to the music . You gotta! . Check out their channels on both youtuBe and Twitch @GirlsPlay , and if yu find yourself like the many thirsty weebs who get to the bottom of the cookie jar and hunger for more , they stream every day @GetPwnd .
https://m.youtube.com/@WatchGirlsPlay

Thirdly on the docket is Chinese donghua arm BiliBili . As a Triple-AAA studio they have thousands of employees , run new content every day of the week , and produce some of the best music this side of Pleaides . Their shows run the gamut from high fantasy with titles like Tales Of A Herding God and Immortality , thru rom-com like Reborn As A Cat and The Most Powerful Vendor , to peak sci-fi like Spy Vs Sect and The Other Side Of Deep Space . These nobles really know what they•re doing , weaving the best of the best of Chinese storytelling with a decamillennial wisdom .
https://m.youtube.com/@MadeByBilibili

We do not yet have theatre groups for the Babushkas and the Neutrois , but we•re getting there ! . Most of humanity is still stuck on only two(2)deux genders , we•re working on it .

Weather

Data from the HAARP Status Network circa 2016 shows a clear resemblance to the heat dome currently overtop of Thunder Bay . The shape of an unusually-warm cell off the coast of Newf Finland might belie this latest contender to the Weather War as coming from a South American source . The destabilized Northern Jet Stream wriggling out of Russia and across Alaska and Canada continues to worsen as it traverses across the Atlantic , and the horrid winter storms that have been terrorizing the West Coast of North America are now reaching as far as England, Ireland, and Scotland . A recent storm in Brazil lasted for díx(10) jour[days] , causing flooding that destroyed homes across South America , while South Africa has been seeing average temperatures 10°C above historical average , and wildfires in Singapore can be smelled from Kallang all the way to Marine Parade , from Sengkang and Bishan to Punggol . My world•s on fire , how •bout yours ? .

Technology

It might be time , in 2026 CE , dans le 21re Ciècle , amidst a very real World War IV scenario , to start thinking about stuff like time travel and/or anomalous perturbation . There are words , there is language to describe the physical -- practical if not theoretical -- workings of the mind , from the USA•s pay-per-scry Gateway programme , to Iran•s full capacity to enlist Djinn as simply another company in the battalion , organizing Russia•s prolific alt-history science fiction propaganda machine by Timeline Sheaf , britaiN, deathplace of wondeRlanD winding time back with retrOcausatioN , Corporatocracy and the Avengers QUANTUMANIA!! visualization renders , Sina bouncing trick shot laser beams off of UAPs , whether or not CERN•s micro black holes cause antimatter damage , and whatever the hell Canadians do at the lake every Saturday in July . It would be crazy to assert that more gamers playing Call Of Duty means better soldier performance in Taiwan , right ? . Or that the entire heat dome warping the jet stream over North America centred directly above the head of a high-profile Fair Witness could be the result of too many simultaneous uses of ion heater tomography... Né? .

The world we are currently situated in is one where not just une(1) ou deux(2) ou trois(3) superpowers have developed God-tier technologies that baffle foreign scientists , but where many superpowers all have wildly-differing methods of Force Projection . This creates a jungle canopy of tweeting birds and screeching leopards , where third-eye primates brachiate thru timeline sheaves without ever touching the ground floor , and anteaters and shrimps never once stop to think in other flavours or colours . We live in a world where a mangaka flapping his pages in Nihon could cause a Resonance Cascade of inspired Thaumaturges in New Zealand . With so many apocalyptic consequences overlapping and multiplying , those of us still having trouble with things like Aliens should look at the literature . The United States Congressional Hearings of Air Force Commanders on UAP Phenomena is an excellent place to start .

Defense

Andrew Gentile of The Why? Files brings us a recent cybermeme by the name of Project Anchor that has been making its way downtown . While the leak was called a Hoax by NASA -- the same people who told you the Moon Landing was real -- we do at DihTech have additional data that could corroborate what could actually be a Ciphered Cover Story . Released in 2025 Decembre on encrypted channels , the Project Anchor Gravitational Discontinuity Effect is predicted to occur on 2026 Aug 12 at 1433 UTC Greenwich Time and is expected to last for sept(7) secondes , which would be long enough to asphyxiate all 850,000,000 human beings above a 6000m Sea Level Elevation . It is theorized to occur because of gravitational waves caused by black hole collisions from opposite sides of the universe being lensed thru a galactic filament . This coincides with an event in the LôHāFāRèxí mythos involving two(2)deux Archangels , SíHt and KôHt , having been sent in opposite directions aeons ago and finally colliding again after oh-so long , flipping the world upside-down in the process . For somebody with an intimate understanding of both Physics and Hierology , the coincidence would seem downright prophetic .

The event would additionally occur during a solar eclipse , a common event type used by extra-terrestrials for demarcating time on distant planets , and during a Biblical period commonly being referred to as the End Times of the Book of Revelations . We do have naturally-occurring gravitational anomalies already here on Terra . In Canada , the Hudson Bay has a gravitational mass 0.004% less than mathematical models should predict , and additionally , there is right now an anomalous Heat Dome centred on that spot that is causing the entire Jet Stream to warp way out of alignment . There is another one in the Indian Ocean where there is a Geoid Low in the Sea Level approximating 106m , and what•s more , these two(2)deux locations are on almost exact opposite sides of the world from each other . On the timescales suggested by our calculations , the entire Axial Tilt Rotation of The Universe could have revolved one(1) or more times since the collisions , which could account for the few hundred kilometers of offset .

In 1956, Thomas Townsen Brown began doing experiments in electrogravitics , the idea that a sufficiently Saturated voltage of Electromagnetism could cause it to become coupled with Gravity . Sept(7) aerospace corporations all had U.S. Government contracts such as The EX-G1 , and the Germans were simultaneously working on their Die Glocke flying bell via the Vril Society . Public inquiry into Electrogravitics vanished in 1956 , and declassified documents have shown that research only continued under Classified government contracts . At DihTech , we operate under a Distributed Gravity Hypothesis , one that utilizes Multiple Timeline Theory to explain why Gravity is so different from the Strong and Weak Nuclear Forces and Electro-Magnetism . This theory posits that the reason for the difference is that the latter are all Discrete Universal Traits while Gravity is a Holomorphic Multiversal Trait , distributed across mutiple timelines which would become stronger when multiple massive stellar objects are occupying the same location simultaneously on different layers . This could also account for why time seems to constantly change its Perceptible Duration without ever changing its Absolute Duration -- if Consciousness were also a Holomorphic trait , then our perception of time would be likely to change while the measurement of time does not . You know what they say . Time flies when your inexplicable human nonsense is being inscrutibly observed by alien overseers at the Galactic Zoo .

Catholic

I•ll just leave this here .
Revelation<>08_06-+|13 ,

⁶ Then the seven angels who had the seven trumpets prepared to sound them.
⁷ The first angel sounded his trumpet, and there came hail and fire mixed with blood, and it was hurled down on the earth. A third of the earth was burned up, a third of the trees were burned up, and all the green grass was burned up.
⁸ The second angel sounded his trumpet, and something like a huge mountain, all ablaze, was thrown into the sea. A third of the sea turned into blood, ⁹ a third of the living creatures in the sea died, and a third of the ships were destroyed.
¹⁰ The third angel sounded his trumpet, and a great star, blazing like a torch, fell from the sky on a third of the rivers and on the springs of water— 11 the name of the star is Wormwood. A third of the waters turned bitter, and many people died from the waters that had become bitter.
¹² The fourth angel sounded his trumpet, and a third of the sun was struck, a third of the moon, and a third of the stars, so that a third of them turned dark. A third of the day was without light, and also a third of the night.
¹³ As I watched, I heard an eagle that was flying in midair call out in a loud voice: “Woe! Woe! Woe to the inhabitants of the earth, because of the trumpet blasts about to be sounded by the other three angels!”

via http://BibleGateway.com .

Outro

So there you have it , you can take all that and a bag of potato chips and put it with your counterintelligence . This has been Future News brought to you by DihTech , i•m your hostess Sister Skadi , and may the Righteousness of Christ flow thru you . Fā Lā .

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